Introduce your protagonist

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Re: Introduce your protagonist

Post by Waterfall17 on Tue Mar 22, 2016 11:45 pm

Sophie (Admin) wrote:I'll go first!

DEMOGRAPHIC CHARACTERISTICS
Name: Thomothy Wode
Age: 18
Birthplace: Momus

Occupation/Job Experience: The long suffering apprentice to the Great Wizard of Momus. Not too much hands on experience with magic but has a lot of knowledge of its unpredictability. A lot of book experience but not much field work.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
Below average in height (and looks), dark brown eyes, eyebrows are thin and constantly furrowed, shaggy hair (could use a good wash). Wears scarves and red long johns. Overall body type is weak but not scrawny.

Strength(s): Innately good at magic
Flaw(s): Self-doubting, stubborn, grouchy and pessimistic
Trademark/Quirk: Makes up random lies about small things for no reason

STORY EXCERPT
After a moment, the city's gate fell open (or more precisely, fell off its hinges) with a loud boom and a cloud of dust and sand, and then a tall and rather imposing man emerged. Or at least he might've been imposing had he not been wearing a soft, yellow nightcap tucked over his chestnut hair, with a tattered, purple bathrobe pulled over his enormous frame. Not long afterwards, he was followed by an extremely surly looking young man, who kept rubbing at his eyes sleepily, donned in several knitted scarves and a pair of baggy, red long johns. Dark hair hung in the youth's face in a messy tangle, which only served to augment his cantankerous disposition.

I really like this character; even in the intro snippet I can already tell I'm going to enjoy the narration and will more than likely love Thomothy. The lying thing is a fascinating and memorable quirk. I like that he has self-doubt, yet is innately good at magic.
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Re: Introduce your protagonist

Post by Waterfall17 on Tue Mar 22, 2016 11:56 pm

Call Me Nefret wrote:DEMOGRAPHIC CHARACTERISTICS
Name: Mirabel Redfield
Age: 24
Birthplace: Unknown

Occupation/Job Experience: Mirabel grew up as a ward of the royal family, so a job wasn't warranted. But she has been offered the position by her adoptive brother as adviser to the king, as well as the side job of tutoring a young mind reader. The jobs suit her well, as she enjoys telling her brother was to do and having a captive audience.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
Mirabel is not attractive. She is tall and willowy with mousy brown hair framing a plain face. It is not that she is particularly unattractive...her face just holds no great beauty. That is, of course, aside from her a pair of bright violet eyes.  

Strength(s): Future-telling, intelligence, common sense, patience, loyalty
Flaw(s): struggles to understand gray areas of morality, lacks subtlety, obsessed with appearing competent to others
Trademark/Quirk: Blunt tendencies of speaking

STORY EXCERPT
Funerals are always a dismal thing. If the person was well loved, as the dowager queen had been, then the attendants must be miserable and bereft. If the attendants were jolly, then it left a horrible reminder how cruel mankind could be to itself.

But Theodora Redfield, monarch of the kingdom of sweeping fields and blazing skies, first in the late king’s heart and adored by her three children (one of whom had gone to the grave before her) was very much loved.

It is important to note that of her three children, she had only borne two. Her strapping sons, the late King Frederic and reigning King Thorsten, had been her pride. But young Mirabel had been her joy. The child had the good fortune to become ward of the royal family at a young age. The laws on such a matter are something better left for a later page. Suffice to say, the gangly creature would never hold the title “princess”. Fortunately for the girl, she had a far better one in its stead: oracle. Since she’d stumbled into the castle as a child neither drought nor plague nor scheme of man had caught the country by surprise.

Are her eyes a sign of her lineage, or are remarkable eyes more commonplace in this world?

I love your intro; very easy to read and get into. The style reminds me of Tolkien or Lewis; soothing, compelling, come-sit-by-the-fireside-and-chat-with-me feel that promises a good story. I also love her name <3

I'm definitely intrigued. :grabby toddler hands:
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Re: Introduce your protagonist

Post by Waterfall17 on Wed Mar 23, 2016 12:01 am

Astrid wrote:DEMOGRAPHIC CHARACTERISTICS
Name: Oliver Damours
Age: 24
Birthplace: Royal castle I suppose

Occupation/Job Experience: He is the third prince of the kingdom of Rovèll and he also is a mage. And in a kingdom the persecutes magic he was taught to hide and control his abilities in secret.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
He is about average in height (182 cm, 6’), but where I come from people are tall. He has brown eyes and dark brown hair. I would say his looks are about average. I think he is attractive, but in the same way many people of his age are attractive. He doesn’t really stand out and is certainly not an extremely attractive dreamy kind of guy. His overall body type it fit but not broad.

Personality
He is friendly and well mannered. But you he doesn’t really let people come close to him. Once you get to know him he will open up to you a bit more. He is also careful, calm and earnest. He is an introvert and tends to think things through (most of the time).

Strength(s): Tries to be optimistic, sees the good in people, knows his way around with a sword (but is not a master).
Flaw(s): Not very good at magic. His abilities are underdeveloped. Not very good with large groups, they make him feel uncomfortable and exposed. Not very trusting, it is hard to win him over.
Trademark/Quirk: Likes to show magic to his younger sister who loves it.

STORY EXCERPT
I don’t have one yet, but I might edit it in later.

His status and abilities make for a compelling story as-is. I resonate with many of his personality traits, and think he's a winsome protagonist--especially because of that beautiful window into his relationship with his younger sister. How cute <3 <3 <3

Not rushing but I'd love to see your excerpt when you get around to it (my version of getting around to it could be a month LOL so no pressure)!
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Re: Introduce your protagonist

Post by Elowen-Astrid on Wed Mar 23, 2016 12:06 am

Waterfall17 wrote:Not rushing but I'd love to see your excerpt when you get around to it (my version of getting around to it could be a month LOL so no pressure)!

I don't know when I will get around writing an excerpt but I will post it when it is finished. I just have a lot to do at the moment, story wise and for university. So it could take quite a while.
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Re: Introduce your protagonist

Post by Waterfall17 on Wed Mar 23, 2016 12:06 am

Poetic-Jessie wrote:DEMOGRAPHIC CHARACTERISTICS
Name: Fiachella of the Land of the Phoenix
Age: 20
Birthplace: The Royal Palace

Occupation/Job Experience: Crown princess, the shadow rebel leader and rebel spy in the royal palace.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE Average height, red hair with golden tips, and brown eyes. She is beautiful (I know, Astrid and Call Me Nefret, but she has a reason for her beauty), it's because she's half phoenix, and in my mind, phoenixes are beautiful.


Strength(s): determined, intelligent, protective, fantastic instincts that regularly get her out of trouble and aid her in being a spy.
Flaw(s): no magic to speak of (everyone has magic in this book and the king, her father, really considers this to be a major flaw, so naturally she does too), self-doubt, scared of her phoenix rising randomly and not being able to control it (so, I guess, scared of her potential power and losing control of herself).
Trademark/Quirk: Speaks bluntly

STORY EXCERPT
Fiachella sighed as she went through the secret tunnels into the underbelly of the Capital City. She made sure that her distinctive, bright red hair with golden tips was tightly bound to her head, and that no sign of the golden tips were showing. Her unique hair colour alone would identify her to anyone as the Phoenix Princess. She didn’t want to be identified in such a way, she wanted to seek out those who would help her for the good of her country, not use her for their own personal gain.

(And on a random note, if it looks like I'm online all the time, it's because I have the browser up in the background and logging in and logging out is a too much effort. But I'm usually afk or working on something else or just procrastinating on facebook...)

Of all the stories presented here I think yours is the one most up my alley. It's a fascinating concept, and not one that I've ever seen before: human and phoenix. Great idea! Where did you come up with it??

I also find the complexity of relationship between father-daughter a win. Have you ever read Leigh Bardugo's Grisha trilogy? Your character reminds me a bit of Alina (though their background is almost entirely different).

Do you have any comp titles in mind?
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Re: Introduce your protagonist

Post by Waterfall17 on Wed Mar 23, 2016 12:10 am

Astrid wrote:

I don't know when I will get around writing an excerpt but I will post it when it is finished. I just have a lot to do at the moment, story wise and for university. So it could take quite a while.

No worries!! Uni is hard. I made it harder for myself by adding like 18 credits (fullest load) per semester and tackling club activities and leadership roles AND decided it'd be a good idea to also be an RA my senior year (it was, but also wasn't). Stress alone nearly killed me...

Do what you need to do Smile, and take steps to ensure your health and wellbeing are a priority.
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Re: Introduce your protagonist

Post by Elowen-Astrid on Wed Mar 23, 2016 12:23 am

Waterfall17 wrote:No worries!! Uni is hard. I made it harder for myself by adding like 18 credits (fullest load) per semester and tackling club activities and leadership roles AND decided it'd be a good idea to also be an RA my senior year (it was, but also wasn't). Stress alone nearly killed me...

How did you survive that? I can imagine the stress. I put in 12 extra credits this year and last year and stress is killing me. I used to do a lot better then than I do now (since I sort of had a depression and still need to get my act together) but there are just to many interesting subjects XD I'll manage and I'll look out for myself.
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Re: Introduce your protagonist

Post by Call Me Nefret on Wed Mar 23, 2016 12:25 am

Waterfall17 wrote:
Oh, that is such a relief (regarding world building)! I do want to dive deep and explore this world in such a way that the setting is part of the story rather than a distraction. I'm glad you like the style, too--I know that when I polish things I'm going to have some fixing up to do because stream of consciousness is surprisingly easy to slip out of. I knew I couldn't handle a format that didn't have proper punctuation and such like some soc novels/short stories. Chime by Franny Billingsley has been an immense help in balancing "deep pov" soc with the more modernized soc Mafi presents.

Glad you mentioned the height thing...yeah, Nikaiya isn't interested in romantic entanglements of any kind in part because of this. On her side, she views most men as incompatible because she can't handle their comparative shortness (though she also finds men to largely be arrogant and unintelligent). On their side, her height and cleverness is intimidating. Nikaiya perceives "potential suitors" to be uninterested in her because she isn't like Miaka, eldest princess--but not throne heir; it will go to her younger brother--of neighboring ally Mydoria; she isn't graceful, beautiful, or talented...she's kind of a freak because of her Seabreather abilities and the fact that she has visions. She doesn't view herself as a viable, wanted ruler, either. Basically she enjoys herself for who she is, but struggles with the perception that others don't/can't...and they don't even know about her true nature.

And the language thing is totally a struggle for me, too. It depends on how deep you want to go with it. There's this wolf series that is extremely dense when it comes to terms; very immersive and interesting, but I wasn't sure I wanted to take such an intense route. In my very first draft(s) of the beginning, I had a ton of terms that I felt were explained contextually, but others didn't, so I have since toned it down...aka axed almost all of them hahaha. I probably have a few that won't make it through this revision, but irekarn and mfirenar are staying.

I want the story to be immersive, but not inaccessible or annoying. Thus the terms that make the cut are those that are, at the very least, clearly defined by context. Irekarn and mfirenar show up multiple times throughout the story, are significant to the storyline, and are given adequate context Very Happy

The strange monster (irekarn) is actually a sea dragon Wink.

I know the feeling. I like to use the setting as something for my characters to explore. Although my setting is mostly on culture. I tend to struggle with geography. I'm a historian, we focus on people more than places. XD But yours does sound interesting. First person POV is a lot tougher to do well than people give it credit for. Do you have any plans to switch the POV to another person? That's one of my favorite things to do when writing POV. Especially when writing as the villain. (Why is it so gosh darn fun to write as the bad guy?)

So the people of court are basically weirded out by her oddities. How does her family feel about it? Does the eldest princess share the people's beliefs that her younger sister isn't cut out for it? Does it affect the relationship she has with her family members?

A strange language can be hard to grasp, even when it's a real one. When I took a course in college on Modern Japanese History, it took weeks before my brain started accepting the vocab terms as actual words with meanings rather than a strange series of sounds. Paring back is definitely a smart thing to do. But having some new vocabulary can sell the alternate fantasy world well.

Not gonna lie, you probably have it easy on making a scary situation. Just the idea of being in water with monsters scares the bloody bejeezus out of me. XD
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Re: Introduce your protagonist

Post by Call Me Nefret on Wed Mar 23, 2016 12:30 am

Waterfall17 wrote:
Are her eyes a sign of her lineage, or are remarkable eyes more commonplace in this world?

I love your intro; very easy to read and get into. The style reminds me of Tolkien or Lewis; soothing, compelling, come-sit-by-the-fireside-and-chat-with-me feel that promises a good story. I also love her name <3

I'm definitely intrigued. :grabby toddler hands:

Sign of lineage. Seers (my catch-all term for the people group, as not all of them have the same abilities) all have purple eyes, although of varying shades. While the eye color is very rare, people did know what it meant from the legends and stories about the race.

Thanks! I had actually just finished reading Jane Austen's Northanger Abbey when I started writing it. I first wrote it by hand and then went to type it up and started paring back on the more weirder aspects of Regency voice.

I'm actually using two of my favorite Medieval names for this story, both for the seers. Mirabel I found while looking for fantasy names for an RP on another site. Sydelle I found from a fantasy book I read and is now the name for the 8 year old seer Mirabel tutors.
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Re: Introduce your protagonist

Post by Poetic-Jessie on Wed Mar 23, 2016 6:44 am

Waterfall17 wrote:

Of all the stories presented here I think yours is the one most up my alley. It's a fascinating concept, and not one that I've ever seen before: human and phoenix. Great idea! Where did you come up with it??

I also find the complexity of relationship between father-daughter a win. Have you ever read Leigh Bardugo's Grisha trilogy? Your character reminds me a bit of Alina (though their background is almost entirely different).

Do you have any comp titles in mind?

Thanks Very Happy I honestly can't remember where I came up with this. I think it might have been a daydream. I don't even remember what inspired it.

I have read the Grisha trilogy and enjoyed it quite a lot. Now that I think about it, Alina is similar to my character, different of course, but similar. The antagonist in it was quite a complex character and someone I always think about to make sure that my antagonists aren't just psychopaths.

In regards to comp titles... Girl of Fire and Thorn by Rae Carson (the royalty and coming of age themes) might be a comp title... Um... Maybe Bitterblue by Kristin Cashore (the royalty theme and another theme (in case it's spoiler for those who haven't read it), coming of age theme too).
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Re: Introduce your protagonist

Post by Poetic-Jessie on Wed Mar 23, 2016 6:53 am

Call Me Nefret wrote:

That's one of my favorite things to do when writing POV. Especially when writing as the villain. (Why is it so gosh darn fun to write as the bad guy?)

I don't know why it is fun to write as a bad guy, but I agree with you wholeheartedly. It is so much fun! I've written as a cranky vampire before and he was so much fun that I think I might write a spin-off book just about him and his adventures.
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Re: Introduce your protagonist

Post by Waterfall17 on Wed Mar 23, 2016 8:57 am

Astrid wrote:

How did you survive that? I can imagine the stress. I put in 12 extra credits this year and last year and stress is killing me. I used to do a lot better then than I do now (since I sort of had a depression and still need to get my act together) but there are just to many interesting subjects XD I'll manage and I'll look out for myself.

Seriously, only by the grace of God. I didn't know it at the time because of course no one just wakes up and realizes, Oh hey, I have PTSD! Woohoo!! But I 'got it' March of my sophomore year and I knew something was wrong with me...just not what. A friend of mine was reading a book for counseling or psychology and brought PTSD to my attention. At first I denied it, thinking it was for vets and such, but the more I thought about it, the more everything made sense: the disassociation, the panic attacks and weird flashback moments, the rage, the pain, etc. I think the worst part in school was honestly feeling alone and being unsuccessful in reaching out to others/knowing they wouldn't understand.

Depression sucks.

And I agree with the too many subjects!! I was like, I will minor in EVERYTHING muahahaha...I love learning. I'm glad to hear you recognize the importance of you and taking care of you, because I pushed myself wayyy too hard. After college I spent 9 months as a recluse (aside from working with littles at a daycare and interacting with my husband at home).
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Re: Introduce your protagonist

Post by Waterfall17 on Wed Mar 23, 2016 9:27 am

Call Me Nefret wrote:

I know the feeling. I like to use the setting as something for my characters to explore. Although my setting is mostly on culture. I tend to struggle with geography. I'm a historian, we focus on people more than places. XD But yours does sound interesting. First person POV is a lot tougher to do well than people give it credit for. Do you have any plans to switch the POV to another person? That's one of my favorite things to do when writing POV. Especially when writing as the villain. (Why is it so gosh darn fun to write as the bad guy?)

So the people of court are basically weirded out by her oddities. How does her family feel about it? Does the eldest princess share the people's beliefs that her younger sister isn't cut out for it? Does it affect the relationship she has with her family members?

A strange language can be hard to grasp, even when it's a real one. When I took a course in college on Modern Japanese History, it took weeks before my brain started accepting the vocab terms as actual words with meanings rather than a strange series of sounds. Paring back is definitely a smart thing to do. But having some new vocabulary can sell the alternate fantasy world well.

Not gonna lie, you probably have it easy on making a scary situation. Just the idea of being in water with monsters scares the bloody bejeezus out of me. XD

Right??! I don't plan to switch the POV because each book in the series works as a switch; book 1 is from Nikaiya's pov, 2 is from Kara's, 3 is from Alaknishen's, etc. Each book has its own distinctive style, motifs, and approach, though. The first 3 are all written in first person, but 4 and 6 will be in third. I have all those details somewhere in Scrivener...lol. Writing as the villain would be fun. I'd love to try it someday, but I know it's not for this series or the next Sad

Ehhh, yes and no. I think it's more of a "they dislike me/they'll think I'm odd" perception rather than a set-in-stone reality. Yeah, she's different, and noticeably so, but that doesn't necessarily mean they must think she's odd. More a mental block than an actual stigma (though mfirenar are stigmatized). This is made clear in the story, but Nikaiya has no idea she's a Seabreather until chapter 2, 17 years into her life. I mean she knows she's different, but Seabreathers have faded out of history for the most part. No one else on Ere knows about her existence as a Seabreather other than her adoptive parents (she is aware of the adoption).

Erevfauna and Mydoria are two distinct countries/regions (and Mydoria is HUGE so I'm thinking I'll have to somehow incorporate more than one kingdom...but none of that will matter in Nikaiya's story). Nikaiya will inherit the 'throne' of Ere. Miaka will remain royalty but will never inherit the 'throne' because their system is patriarchal. The two characters--friends--play off of one another well because, oddly enough, Miaka admires Nikaiya and vice versa (though Nikaiya has more of a complex). Miaka believes Nikaiya will be a wonderful ruler; Nikaiya believes Miaka should have been the one to rule in her stead (though this is impossible). Miaka also happens to be a Skydancer, and wrongly assumes Nikaiya is aware she is a Seabreather.

There IS a bit of strain between family members because 1) Nikaiya has no interest in marrying...thus would not have an heir, etc., and 2) she's clearly capable politically but takes no joy in it. Her adoptive parents want her to be happy, though; they aren't angry with her for her feelings.

And sea monsters. NURRRR! I find it hilariously ironic because I decided my world will not have spiders or snakes or dangerous creatures in general--and this technically includes the irekarn as they are docile, but when under the sway of a Caller/dragon caller, they can be extremely violent--because I didn't want to deal with them. Particularly things like sharks. I'm one of those people who freaks out at the mention of Krakens and Nessie because HELLO THEY ARE REAL hahaha. I'm a total fraidy cat when it comes to water/sea monsters

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Re: Introduce your protagonist

Post by Waterfall17 on Wed Mar 23, 2016 9:31 am

Poetic-Jessie wrote:

Thanks Very Happy I honestly can't remember where I came up with this. I think it might have been a daydream. I don't even remember what inspired it.

I have read the Grisha trilogy and enjoyed it quite a lot. Now that I think about it, Alina is similar to my character, different of course, but similar. The antagonist in it was quite a complex character and someone I always think about to make sure that my antagonists aren't just psychopaths.

In regards to comp titles... Girl of Fire and Thorn by Rae Carson (the royalty and coming of age themes) might be a comp title... Um... Maybe Bitterblue by Kristin Cashore (the royalty theme and another theme (in case it's spoiler for those who haven't read it), coming of age theme too).

The Darkling T_T T_T. Third book gutted me.

I have not read Carson, but Cashore was decent. I loved Graceling and naturally dove into Fire asap and loved it even more...but felt like I was reading about the same person at times. Bitterblue was roundabout and not my favorite of the three, but nevertheless interesting.
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Re: Introduce your protagonist

Post by Call Me Nefret on Wed Mar 23, 2016 12:53 pm

Waterfall17 wrote:

Right??! I don't plan to switch the POV because each book in the series works as a switch; book 1 is from Nikaiya's pov, 2 is from Kara's, 3 is from Alaknishen's, etc. Each book has its own distinctive style, motifs, and approach, though. The first 3 are all written in first person, but 4 and 6 will be in third. I have all those details somewhere in Scrivener...lol. Writing as the villain would be fun. I'd love to try it someday, but I know it's not for this series or the next Sad

Ehhh, yes and no. I think it's more of a "they dislike me/they'll think I'm odd" perception rather than a set-in-stone reality. Yeah, she's different, and noticeably so, but that doesn't necessarily mean they must think she's odd. More a mental block than an actual stigma (though mfirenar are stigmatized). This is made clear in the story, but Nikaiya has no idea she's a Seabreather until chapter 2, 17 years into her life. I mean she knows she's different, but Seabreathers have faded out of history for the most part. No one else on Ere knows about her existence as a Seabreather other than her adoptive parents (she is aware of the adoption).

Erevfauna and Mydoria are two distinct countries/regions (and Mydoria is HUGE so I'm thinking I'll have to somehow incorporate more than one kingdom...but none of that will matter in Nikaiya's story). Nikaiya will inherit the 'throne' of Ere. Miaka will remain royalty but will never inherit the 'throne' because their system is patriarchal. The two characters--friends--play off of one another well because, oddly enough, Miaka admires Nikaiya and vice versa (though Nikaiya has more of a complex). Miaka believes Nikaiya will be a wonderful ruler; Nikaiya believes Miaka should have been the one to rule in her stead (though this is impossible). Miaka also happens to be a Skydancer, and wrongly assumes Nikaiya is aware she is a Seabreather.

There IS a bit of strain between family members because 1) Nikaiya has no interest in marrying...thus would not have an heir, etc., and 2) she's clearly capable politically but takes no joy in it. Her adoptive parents want her to be happy, though; they aren't angry with her for her feelings.

And sea monsters. NURRRR! I find it hilariously ironic because I decided my world will not have spiders or snakes or dangerous creatures in general--and this technically includes the irekarn as they are docile, but when under the sway of a Caller/dragon caller, they can be extremely violent--because I didn't want to deal with them. Particularly things like sharks. I'm one of those people who freaks out at the mention of Krakens and Nessie because HELLO THEY ARE REAL hahaha. I'm a total fraidy cat when it comes to water/sea monsters


Well that is essentially like switching POV. Although I think the proper term for that type of writing would be dovetail. Wherein all the books take place in the same paradigm/reality, but they each have different main characters and plotlines. I have done some first person POV from the villain's perspective and there is nothing else like it. Especially since one of the main villains I wrote for was in a YA mutants-running-away-from-the-evil-lab type story and the guy chasing them down was the controlling ex-boyfriend of the protagonist. A lot of "she will be mine or no one's" mentality that was eerily thrilling to write.

I am intrigued by the idea of no dangerous creatures in general. Does the world still have landscapes that are hard to live on or does it appear to be like a geographical utopia? No dangerous creatures would mean no predators, which gives your land an entirely different food chain. Are the animals all herbivores then? And does that translate to the human (or humanoid, in this case) realm?
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Re: Introduce your protagonist

Post by Poetic-Jessie on Wed Mar 23, 2016 2:00 pm

Waterfall17 wrote:

Depression sucks.

Sorry, I would have posted this sooner, but my cat was sick (taking her to the vet tomorrow). I agree with you. Depression sucks. So does PTSD, anxiety, etc. It takes a while to recover from constantly pushing yourself too far every day.

I don't really know what else to say, but I wanted to acknowledge this and say that I agree with you Smile
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Re: Introduce your protagonist

Post by Poetic-Jessie on Wed Mar 23, 2016 2:36 pm

Waterfall17 wrote:

The Darkling T_T T_T. Third book gutted me.

I have not read Carson, but Cashore was decent. I loved Graceling and naturally dove into Fire asap and loved it even more...but felt like I was reading about the same person at times. Bitterblue was roundabout and not my favorite of the three, but nevertheless interesting.  

Third book T_T. Oh, the feels.

In regards to Cashore's books, I liked all of them but I think that Graceling was definitely her best so far. I also read Fire asap but didn't like the guy in it. Dunno, he just didn't do it for me. I didn't pick up on the same person thing, I'll have to reread it to see if I can pick up on it. I thought Fire was better than Bitterblue... even though it's my comp title... But mainly comp in regards to the themes.

And if you like books about royalty with a bit of religion/spirituality, Carson's books are good. Intelligent protagonist navigating court life, quite a bit of character development too. (I don't really want to praise it too much, just in case you don't like it...) Smile
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Re: Introduce your protagonist

Post by Poetic-Jessie on Thu Mar 24, 2016 7:56 am

I can contribute again (my cat is off to the vet).

Call Me Nefret wrote:
Especially since one of the main villains I wrote for was in a YA mutants-running-away-from-the-evil-lab type story and the guy chasing them down was the controlling ex-boyfriend of the protagonist. A lot of "she will be mine or no one's" mentality that was eerily thrilling to write.

I was wondering if we should make a new thread and introduce our antagonists? Considering they're a lot of fun to write and they're also very important because we wouldn't really have a story without them. Also, this might help us to get to know them, what drives them etc.

(I've got a book where the antagonist is behind the scenes for the entire book. You don't know who they are, until pretty much the second book. Then you don't meet the antagonist until the final showdown). So, as a result, I vaguely know know what drives my antagonist but I don't really know her.

I'm not sure if other people are in this position, where they don't really know their antagonist, but I think it might help us to explore /introduce them anyway Smile

I know that some of us have multiple antagonists, so I guess we could introduce them all maybe? Or just one? What does everyone think?

Call Me Nefret wrote:
I am intrigued by the idea of no dangerous creatures in general. Does the world still have landscapes that are hard to live on or does it appear to be like a geographical utopia? No dangerous creatures would mean no predators, which gives your land an entirely different food chain. Are the animals all herbivores then? And does that translate to the human (or humanoid, in this case) realm?

Okay, back on topic. I'm curious about these dragon callers and how they make dragons dangerous. Are there other callers? Can someone make a rabbit dangerous? (I'm thinking of Monty Python's Holy Grail). I'm also curious about the ecosystem of your world.
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Re: Introduce your protagonist

Post by Call Me Nefret on Thu Mar 24, 2016 11:29 am

Poetic-Jessie wrote:
I was wondering if we should make a new thread and introduce our antagonists? Considering they're a lot of fun to write and they're also very important because we wouldn't really have a story without them. Also, this might help us to get to know them, what drives them etc.

I wholeheartedly support this idea. Although I wouldn't know what antagonist to choose. XD
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Re: Introduce your protagonist

Post by Poetic-Jessie on Thu Mar 24, 2016 11:35 am

Call Me Nefret wrote:
I wholeheartedly support this idea. Although I wouldn't know what antagonist to choose. XD

All of them! XD
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Re: Introduce your protagonist

Post by Sieglinde on Fri Mar 25, 2016 7:41 am

DEMOGRAPHIC CHARACTERISTICS
Name: Idun of the Sapphire Clan
Age: 60-something, which is pretty young for her species
Birthplace: the ancient mines of her clan, under the Mountains That Need A Cool Name. (I'm terrible at naming places, and hey, THAT placeholder is gonna add so much to the wordcount...)

Occupation/Job Experience: She is a dwarven warrior and a member of the Sapphire clan (my dwarf clans all use gemstone/mineral names, Sapphire is one of the eight clans that make up highter nobility). She is not blood-related to the clan, her mother got to be a full member for her merits in battle. Idun had been trained by the clan's master-at-arms and primarily uses a sword and shield. When the story begins, she's about to do the rite of passage for young dwarves - to brave the surface. She's looking forward to the xp.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
She's about 4'1", fit and well-built. She's brown, with big black eyes and dark hair that she wears in two braided buns at the nape of her neck. Usually dressed in armour. She wears her clan's gemstone - the dwarven equivalent of heraldry. Although she's young, she had seen a few fights and sports a scar on her left cheek, given to her by a very qickly deceased underground monster.

Personality
Friendly and open. She has a sweet nature and usually tries to help people. Likes to joke around. As the story progresses, she gets more and more allies in her Ragtag Bunch of Misfits, to the point the Big Bad says upon meeting her "oh, you're that dwarf hero who goes around adopting strays and wanted criminals", to which she's like "they are my children now, including the ten feet tall giantess, FIGHT ME". Team Mom. Hard to get her angry, but hurting her friends is a major berserk button.

Strength(s): excellent fighter, both alone and in groups. Good with planning and pretty clever. Has a talent for drums. Excellent at making puppy eyes at people.
Flaw(s): not good at lying or sneaking in, but that's what the team rogues are for, isn't it? Arachnophobic. Which, in a world where giants spiders dwell in most ruins or underground dungeons, is bad news.
Trademark/Quirk: not sure yet.

STORY EXCERPT
none yet
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Re: Introduce your protagonist

Post by Call Me Nefret on Fri Mar 25, 2016 8:30 am

Sieglinde wrote:DEMOGRAPHIC CHARACTERISTICS
Name: Idun of the Sapphire Clan
Age: 60-something, which is pretty young for her species
Birthplace: the ancient mines of her clan, under the Mountains That Need A Cool Name. (I'm terrible at naming places, and hey, THAT placeholder is gonna add so much to the wordcount...)

Occupation/Job Experience: She is a dwarven warrior and a member of the Sapphire clan (my dwarf clans all use gemstone/mineral names, Sapphire is one of the eight clans that make up highter nobility). She is not blood-related to the clan, her mother got to be a full member for her merits in battle. Idun had been trained by the clan's master-at-arms and primarily uses a sword and shield. When the story begins, she's about to do the rite of passage for young dwarves - to brave the surface. She's looking forward to the xp.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
She's about 4'1", fit and well-built. She's brown, with big black eyes and dark hair that she wears in two braided buns at the nape of her neck. Usually dressed in armour. She wears her clan's gemstone - the dwarven equivalent of heraldry. Although she's young, she had seen a few fights and sports a scar on her left cheek, given to her by a very qickly deceased underground monster.

Personality
Friendly and open. She has a sweet nature and usually tries to help people. Likes to joke around. As the story progresses, she gets more and more allies in her Ragtag Bunch of Misfits, to the point the Big Bad says upon meeting her "oh, you're that dwarf hero who goes around adopting strays and wanted criminals", to which she's like "they are my children now, including the ten feet tall giantess, FIGHT ME". Team Mom. Hard to get her angry, but hurting her friends is a major berserk button.

Strength(s): excellent fighter, both alone and in groups. Good with planning and pretty clever. Has a talent for drums. Excellent at making puppy eyes at people.
Flaw(s): not good at lying or sneaking in, but that's what the team rogues are for, isn't it? Arachnophobic. Which, in a world where giants spiders dwell in most ruins or underground dungeons, is bad news.
Trademark/Quirk: not sure yet.

STORY EXCERPT
none yet

I believe I said this before, but I am intrigued with a dwarf as the main character as opposed to just another member of the team. I am also curious with her relationship with the giantess. Just imagining how every day interactions would happen between them.

I know of a name generator that gives names for places. Other times I write down random names of places and start twisting the letter around or adding new ones till I get a fantasy name I can make work. When I get super lazy and give the place a lackluster name (the town outside the kingdom's castle is called Castle Town) I always have a character mention how lazy a name it was or say it outright in the narrative. That way I openly accept it's unimaginative name and the reader can't get annoyed at you. XD
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Re: Introduce your protagonist

Post by Elowen-Astrid on Fri Mar 25, 2016 8:39 am

Sieglinde wrote:DEMOGRAPHIC CHARACTERISTICS
Name: Idun of the Sapphire Clan
Age: 60-something, which is pretty young for her species
Birthplace: the ancient mines of her clan, under the Mountains That Need A Cool Name. (I'm terrible at naming places, and hey, THAT placeholder is gonna add so much to the wordcount...)

Occupation/Job Experience: She is a dwarven warrior and a member of the Sapphire clan (my dwarf clans all use gemstone/mineral names, Sapphire is one of the eight clans that make up highter nobility). She is not blood-related to the clan, her mother got to be a full member for her merits in battle. Idun had been trained by the clan's master-at-arms and primarily uses a sword and shield. When the story begins, she's about to do the rite of passage for young dwarves - to brave the surface. She's looking forward to the xp.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
She's about 4'1", fit and well-built. She's brown, with big black eyes and dark hair that she wears in two braided buns at the nape of her neck. Usually dressed in armour. She wears her clan's gemstone - the dwarven equivalent of heraldry. Although she's young, she had seen a few fights and sports a scar on her left cheek, given to her by a very qickly deceased underground monster.

Personality
Friendly and open. She has a sweet nature and usually tries to help people. Likes to joke around. As the story progresses, she gets more and more allies in her Ragtag Bunch of Misfits, to the point the Big Bad says upon meeting her "oh, you're that dwarf hero who goes around adopting strays and wanted criminals", to which she's like "they are my children now, including the ten feet tall giantess, FIGHT ME". Team Mom. Hard to get her angry, but hurting her friends is a major berserk button.

Strength(s): excellent fighter, both alone and in groups. Good with planning and pretty clever. Has a talent for drums. Excellent at making puppy eyes at people.
Flaw(s): not good at lying or sneaking in, but that's what the team rogues are for, isn't it? Arachnophobic. Which, in a world where giants spiders dwell in most ruins or underground dungeons, is bad news.
Trademark/Quirk: not sure yet.

I love your character. She sounds really nice. How do dwarves age and how is their psychological development? I was wondering how her age translates to this world since 60 years old is still pretty young for a dwarf. I also love the weakness you gave her. Afraid of spiders in an environment full of spiders. It sounds very logical. How does she react to them?


Last edited by Astrid on Fri Mar 25, 2016 9:50 am; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Introduce your protagonist

Post by Sieglinde on Fri Mar 25, 2016 9:36 am

I think they live up to 700-800 years. They reach their adult height around 50. Their language is also very gender neutral since they have full equality. Most women have beards but it only starts to grow later in life, so Idun doesn't have one yet. Her friend does. She can't wait Very Happy

Her reaction is generally between "oh shit, not again" and "DIE, FIEND". If they are really big, she might nope outta there. She's rather fight a dragon, any day.
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Re: Introduce your protagonist

Post by Call Me Nefret on Fri Mar 25, 2016 10:18 am

Sieglinde wrote:I think they live up to 700-800 years. They reach their adult height around 50. Their language is also very gender neutral since they have full equality. Most women have beards but it only starts to grow later in life, so Idun doesn't have one yet. Her friend does. She can't wait Very Happy

Her reaction is generally between "oh shit, not again" and "DIE, FIEND". If they are really big, she might nope outta there. She's rather fight a dragon, any day.

I would love to see a scene about her geeking out over having a beard and another member of the party sitting by like "....dwarves are weird."
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